Palagi Girl in a Samoan World

Last Saturday I spent the day with Mike, as he did a wedding of a friend of ours, Taylor Williams. Taylor's dad, Bruce, is the one who took us to Samoa. He is pictured here with Ari. You may think he looks a little like the famous man from the North Pole. Well, he actually does dress up like him, and that's how we met him. (A long story!)

We first went to the Salt Lake Temple where we waited for the new Mr. & Mrs. Williams to come bounding out of the temple, in all their extremely newlywed glory. While we were in the waiting room, I noticed a small crowd of Polynesian people gathering for another wedding. Well, the Polynesian loving spirit in me jumped at the chance to talk to even one of them. Their children sat at the same table with Ari to color pictures. (Boy, it was sure hard not to just take one of them home with me. Probably not the best idea, especially at the temple.) I did manage to start a conversation with them. I found out they were in fact Samoan. I could even hear the language being spoken amongst them. (Boy it made me homesick for Samoa!) I let them meet Ariana, but it wasn't until I told them I had lived in Samoa for two years that they actually acted at all interested in me. We found out we actually knew some of the same people. Surprise! Surprise! (Not really!)

Well, as the time went on I sat there with them, spoke with them, and even laughed a little, BUT.... in the end I was still as white on the outside as I always have been. I had an experience once in Samoa that I will never forget. I had been living in Samoa for more that 18 months. I was sitting in the Stake Center, all dressed in one of my made handmade puletasis. My wet hair was slicked back, with a sei (flower) stuck in it. I am not sure if I had lice at the time, but probably in one stage or another. I of course had no make-up on, as it would just roll off my face as fast as I put it on. I was wearing my same old flipflops that I worn everywhere. And I must mention I had that adorable bead of sweat forming above my upperlip.

I was there pretty early, because I had a small part on the program that night. A few of us "locals" had been asked to sing a few songs in a performance of Women at the Well. There were a group of college aged girls coming from the States, that would be performing with us. As I was sitting there with a group of a few different Samoan ladies from my stake, these American girls came prancing in with their perfect make-up, and stylish clothes. It was SO surprisingly awkward for me. I was instantly embarrased by their naive air of Americaness. That is the best way I can describe it. As I looked around me, I distinctly remember feeling way more a part of these amazing Samoan women around me, than these little American princesses. Just as I was settling on this thought, a Samoan women I hardly knew, leaned up to me and said in her broken English, that I wasn't one of those girls, that I was a Samoan lady like them. I never had felt so much pride.

Now back to Saturday. I realized again in a small moment, that I was no longer accepted in that world. I saw that although in my heart would always live a big hunk of Samoaness.... I would forever more be seen as a normal white American girl. I have been mourning that Samoa lady I became that day for two years now, but that is life. At least I can see her reflected in the eyes of my daughter for the rest of my life.

The rest of the day was great. I spent alot of time with Taylor's sister Lindsay and her beautiful little family. Mike and I had already decided to go to Samoa when I saw Lindsay for the first time. She was playing the part of Fantine in Layton High's production of Les Miserable. I was just mesmorized by this girl. The spirit struck me so hard, that I was to be a mother to one of these beautiful girls. Lindsay will never know how much she means to me. I just love her!!! Ari and Lindsay are pictured to the right.

I have to say thanks to Lindsay's pretty cool Tongan husband Ben Fonua, for letting me compare cultures with him. My family gets so tired of all the Samoan talk. Ya did good Lindsay!! I have a picture of the whole Fonua family here, with their new baby Leila. I guess I will let them keep her, as long as I can at least hold her once in awhile. :)

Until next time.... Tofa Soi Fua